There’s this huge gap between my last post and this and much have happened. I graduated (yay!) and I came to terms with what was a bout of depression. 2014 was such a bumpy year, starting out on a high and ending with much relief that I am still alive.
No, I wasn’t exaggerating. I was in one heck of a valley and crawling out of it took a lot of effort and help. If you are a friend reading this and feeling surprised, don’t worry. Apparently I masked it all pretty well. This is where I thank God for those few friends who recognise it for what it was, gave good advice and was just there. Your phone calls, Skype sessions and WhatsApp messages pulled me through. Extra points to the one who is an actual psychology major and was the only one who took a step back from religion and went, “Be sad, be angry, don’t hold back on raging at God. IT IS OKAY,”. It helped.
If there is anyone out there who is battling depression and anxiety, or know of anyone who is, Eve, a junior of mine back in school wrote an insightful blog post about her own experience. It covers, “…what it is and who is affected, ways to spot the problem, how it is treated and dealt with, and what will happen afterwards,”. If you are certain you are fine and have the honour of not having troubled friends, read it anyway~ Because prevention is better than cure etc. and knowing what it is makes you a better person (e.g. you won’t tell a depressed person that s/he is a disappointment and/or s/he is not doing enough).
I started 2015 on a very cautious note. It’s going to be an uncertain year. I don’t know which direction I’m heading – work in the industry or pursue academia (PhD?) – but I am working towards it being a progressive and productive one. Hopefully.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return. — Maya Angelou